How I became free from my negative thoughts

I hated people who didn’t please me when dealing with people, and I tried to demean them. I was so stubborn that I was right that I couldn’t tolerate people who had different opinions. For example, I get angry when I see colleagues who are younger or less experienced at work not giving up on their claims. So I smiled in front and pretended to listen to them and interrupted everything of the team behind me. Then, when the person I hated was in a difficult situation, I rejoiced inwardly that everything went well, and I stood by without helping him even when I knew the answer.

Something like this happened. I was working on a team project, and my boss once criticized me for how I handled my work. Of course, it was my mistake, and he was right. But I hated my boss so much that I gave up on the near-complete project. I ran away. And that boss was branded as an enemy from the depths of my heart. Every time I met him at work, I exchanged greetings, but I tried to return the insults and shame I had received.

I knew I was a narrow-minded and mean person, but I couldn’t change my behavior, and I couldn’t change my mind. Then, while meditating, I began to reflect on my mind and actions. I saw myself as I was. I, who was narrow-minded, knew only myself and is a coward who is afraid of other people’s advice. I found out that I couldn’t live life with this negative mind. And no matter how hard I have tried, I wasn’t able to succeed. Fortunately, meditation allowed me to get rid of all the negative thoughts in my head.

The negative thoughts we have are because we only know what we have seen, heard, and experienced in our lives. On the other hand, how big and wide is the world? And how different is it? But at the most, when I try to fight the world with the 46 years of experience and knowledge that I have lived, nothing is right.

Through meditation, I let go of my negative mindset. As the negative thoughts disappeared, my behavior changed. I no longer stop working with my teammates for emotional reasons that I don’t want to work. Sometimes the work is hard, but that’s not a reason to give up. And even if I meet a team member that doesn’t fit me, I listen to that person’s opinion. Because that person’s feedback points to a part I haven’t seen before or my mistake. You don’t want to hear it right away, but if you take note of it, you’ll get much better results. Such good results help my career, and I am proud of myself for overcoming hate and completing the mission.

The workplace is not a happy place all year round. Sometimes it’s good, but more than half of the time, I meet people I don’t want to work with. You can’t sit still. To become an adult, you need to overcome hardships, look back on your weaknesses, and throw them away.